Fred
Friday, May 22nd, 2009We met Fred and Millie in 2001. They were some of the first people to come to the church in Ball Ground after we moved from the old building and into a store front. Little did we know at the time just how much they would mean to us. Over the years we have cried together. Talked together. Laughed together.
It was hard for us to say goodbye to them when it was time to stop pastoring the church in order to raise support to be missionaries. We always knew, though, that we had a place to go back to if ever we were in Ball Ground. They became great cheerleaders for us. Great partners. Great prayer warriors on our behalf. That meant a lot to us because for years they had been not only tremendous friends, but also a source of great inspiriation.
Among other things, Fred suffered from Alzheimers. I say suffered, but that doesn´t seem fair. He never seemed let it get him down. He would be frustrated when he couldn´t find the right words. He would have times of sadness because he knew what was happening to him and that he could do nothing to stop it. But suffer seems to be the wrong word. No matter what he was going through, he still greeted us with a smile, often asking me, “How´s it going, big guy?” As the years progressed, we gained more and more insight into his younger life as he regressed backwards. I think that for most of the time we knew him, I was his pastor (an honor I cherish), but over the years there were times when I think I was a friend from his army days. I don´t know who else I may have been…
Millie was always there by his side. Solid. Helping. Loving. Caring for him. She always told us this was not the way she would have prefered, but “if you can´t have what you want, you´d better want what you have.” She made the best of it. It was hard, but she wanted to be there as much as she could for him. She understood better than any of us what was happening to Fred, and she let us in on what we needed to know. Regardless what the disease did, she wanted to have Fred as long as she could.
This morning she said goodbye to him. Among his last words to her were “Are you ready? We´re going together.” She said something like, “I don´t know if we´re going together…” They held hands. They embraced. She helped him to go home peacefully and easily.
As I write this, I thought the tears were gone, but there they go again, welling up. This is a bitter sweet moment. As a dear friend, I going to miss him. As a Christian, I know he´s at peace. I can only imagine the stories he´s telling now!
God bless you.
